14 August 2013 - Neglected Blog

Oops....

I've neglected the blog a bit, haven't I?

Apologies, but I've not had anything inpriring to say!!

The training is getting harder, not easier and rather than losing 5 stone, I've managed to put on a few pounds...I fear its going to take longer than I imagined.

So, rather than listen to me moan, Ang is going to update us on her progress ....

Ok so it's been a while since I last weebled along.  I think it's probably fair to say that for a number of reasons I haven't been quite as dedicated to my training as I should, luckily I have a Beth to call me out on this.  I suppose it's just as well I've done some running in the past, although even I was shocked when I looked back at my diaries and discovered it was pre-Milan which was 2010!! (I don't do dear diary stuff, I just have a gig diary, Milan was Muse)

So, time to get back into the running trainers, hoick up the leggings (I've ordered some new proper running ones, extra support for my feeble weebly pegs) and dug out my old runners world stuff.  More importantly, time to take stock of me, myself and I.  Unlike some (Rhydd) I can't run properly on a diet of curries and BBQ's so farewell to the rubbish I eat (including alcohol) and hello to good quality, home cooked food - did I mention I bought a smoothie maker too! 

It's actually going better than I though and I'm pushing on, although turns out I need the human equivalent of WD40 daily to keep my joints from creaking like the Titanic these days.  I'm confident I will complete the 10k, and I'm confident it won't be hot on the heels of Rhydd and Marc, but I will do it, I mean come on, a 10k will cause a little pain, but fighting cancer, that is way harder.  I'm still training on the treadmill, my lack of dedication naturally led to my weight going up not down, but, I am pleased to say after a new weigh in I'm actually 10lb less than I expected, so a few more treadmill sessions to shave a stone off and I should be balanced enough to hit the roads again - feet first hopefully ;)

Ang x

Back to me :

Anyway, my lovely friends, even though we've been quiet, rest assure we are working our wobbly butts off to complete this run.

If you would like to sponsor any of us, please follow our Just Giving Link on this page or if you dont like donating on-line, all of us have a sponsor form.

Please dont forget that despite the laughter, the tears, the pain and the mocking, the reason we are doing this is to raise money for Cancer Research, and to support our friends who are fighting this horrible disease.

I'll be quiet again for a couple of weeks, but if you need reminding of the journey we have made so far, please re-read some of the earlier posts and have a right LAUGH AT OUR EXPENSE,

 and SHARE< SHARE< SHARE!!!

Thanks

Deb xxx

24 July 2013 - Words to the wise

To the horrid little chav in his souped up golf, and ridiculously loud exhaust.

Yelling : 'Get your tits out you fat cow' at me, when I'm running is actually highly unlikely to inspire me to get said tits out.


In fact, taking into account that I have had three kids and so my tits hang nearly to my knees, I fail to see why you would want me to get them out.


I can only conclude, therefore, that you don't actually want me to get my tits out, that you in fact think you are insanely hilarious showing off in front of the little barbie dolls giggling in the back of your car.


What is actually likely to happen is that one of your silly little girlfriend's gives you crabs and your tiny dick falls off (hopefully).

Just saying.

Day 1 thousand - Calamity Rhydd

Well, THAT'S never before.

I went out for my usual 8 mile run on Saturday morning and ended up coughing up blood at the side of the cycle path.

And things had been going so well.

Two weeks ago I remembered that my officially licenced, rare promotional Fantastic Four watch has a stopwatch on it.

 Up until then I'd been monitoring my running times by checking the time on the clock in the
kitchen when I left and then checking it on my phone when I'd reached my destination. Hardly an ideal arrangement I know, rendered even more void once I'd realised that there is a 5 minute disparity between each clock. 

So anyway, now I had a stopwatch and could accurately gauge my progress.

Two weeks ago I ran my 8 miles in 59 minutes. Last week I did it in 55.

Wow! I was getting somewhere! 

And what's more, last week I was beginning to feel like a machine again when I was running. Just like I did during my marathon days. Where I'd settle into a good, solid pace and feel like
I could keep it up all day. I'd zone out and the pain would disappear and nothing could get in my way.

                                             Awesome.

And then, this week........
.
Even though I left the house at 07:30 it was hot, but I was doing it. I was keeping up a good pace and I was watching the clock and I was set to knock a couple of minutes off last weeks time. 

Then, about half way along my route on the cycle path, something flew down the back of my
throat, causing me to gag.

 I wretched up phlegm and thought that I'd gotten rid of it, whatever it was. So I started running again. A minute or two later I gagged again and coughed up more phlegm. 

Jesus, it hurt.

I had a drink and tried to carry on but something was still causing me to gag. This time I was coughing up blood. Not just phlegm with some blood in it, but actual blood.

                                                                      MY BLOOD!

What the hell had flown into my gob? And what's more what the hell had it done when it was in there?

                                                                  Was it a wasp? 

Heavy Metal Band W.A.S.P.

                                                          No, not that kind. This kind...

actual wasp

                                                            Had it stung me?

                                                      HAD IT LAID EGGS??? 

Was I going to go home later that day and have something explode out my chest whilst having my tea like John Hurt in Alien?

Alien chest burst

By this time my legs had turned to jelly.

                                                                  This was worrying

 I had to get home, and the quickest way to do that was by getting to town to catch the bus. Which was what I was doing anyway. Only now I couldn't run. So I carried on walking

. I coughed up blood maybe three or four more times.

 Once I realised that maybe I was finished up chucking I tentatively tried running again. It was slow and painful but at least I was running.

 Eventually, I reach Wind Street without any more unpleasantness and checked my time. I had done it in 1 hour and 1 minute, which wasn't too bad at all, considering.

Anyway, my throat is still sore. When I swallow it feels kind of scratched. I'm going to have to keep an eye on this, and if it doesn't get any better I'll have to make my usual decadial visit to the doctor's.

Hopefully next week, barring any more insect/windpipe incidents, I can get back on track and shave a few more minutes off my route. Because the 10K is sneaking up on us pretty damn quickly and want to run a damn good time.

                                                                Damn good. 

Hopefully then it will be a bit cooler too. 

Until next time,

Rhydd.

PS. Later that day I fell out of a tree and cut myself to ribbons. 

Just thought I'd mention it.

Day (I have really no idea) 10 July 2013-Nice day for a wedding

Today has been a special day as today is the day Julie and Andrew finally got married.

Quietly.

With no fuss.

After they cancelled the last time, they tried to plan it in between chemo sessions, for when Julie was likely to be at least chance of infection and feeling the best she possibly could be. They did not want to wait until after her treatment had completed, because that seemed so far away, but they did not want to announce it to loads of guests in case they had to cancel it again. Also because Julie is self concious of the way her looks have changed and the way her senses have been affected by the tumour and chemo, she wanted it as quiet and intimate as possible.

So they decided to get married with just themselves, and two witnesses present, and that was me and Dean.

Although extremely honoured that they had asked us, I was surprised, but they explained to us that we were the only ones that knew both of them before they met, and as it was us that introduced them, it felt symbolic and right for them. And as it happens, their wedding day was exactly a year to the day that I told Julie about Andrew. Fate or what!!


And so they got married, the bride was radiant, the groom was nervous and the witnesses had a tear in their eye.

It was beautiful and emotional and we had a lovely Italian meal afterwards.

Then we all went home for a nap (not together).

How Rock and Roll!!!....But just the way they wanted it.

Congratulations Mr and Mrs Hamnett...may your luck start changing from now xxx

Day 6578 (or so it seems) 4 July 2013

                              I'm in a really bad mood.

No particular reason, I just am. Tell a lie ....there are several reasons, but I'm not going to bore you with them, just be assured

                      I am in a REALLY REALLY bad mood.

And I have been for a couple of days.

'Go for a run!', Mummy says...'that will make you feel better!'

Yeah, right, sure it will..

.'Go on!, Mummy knows best!!'

No she doesnt.

But part of me thinks she may be right, so I put my gear on.

Now when I'm in a bad mood, everything and everyone annoys me..the dogs are annoying me, the kids are nagging and its annoying me and Dean is breathing. Yes, its annoying me, but despite this he decides to come and keep me company.

Fool.

We walk the other way round the course, to make it interesting.

Its not interesting.

I'm too hot.

'Take your coat off then'..Mr S exclaims.

'I cant, too much fluff under my pits today'.

I've got the wrong water bottle with me. It doesnt feel right.

                              My battery in my phone keeps bleeping. Its annoying me.

                                                                     There are too many kerbs, my knees are jarring.

Time to run..

I take one step, but there's an awful burning down my right shin, so I stop.
                                                                                                    Walk a bit longer.
                                                                                                                   
 The pavements are too narrow,
                             there are too many people,
                                                    the sun is in my eyes,
                                                                            its too windy,
                                                                                         I feel too fat.

 I try again to run....back comes the pain.

                                          I shout at Dean.

                                       He shouts back at me.

                                                 Bastard.

                                                I start to cry........ Cos of course it's all his fault.

                                  Run aborted, we fast walk instead.

                                 I think I'll try again tomorrow :(

Day 38 - 29 June 2013 - A Funny Sort of Day

                                                     Today has been a funny sort of day

It should have been Julie and Andrew's wedding day, but Julie contracted an infection due to her blood count being so low and is in hospital for the next few days. Although bitterly disappointed that they have had to postpone the wedding, they really had no choice, and all that matters is that she is in the best place and is being well looked after.

 Jeannette has also got another infection and has also had to go to hospital.

It would be really nice if these two lovely ladies could be given a bit of a break.

So plans have had to be changed, and I need to carry on training. I haven't been doing too bad, but it is oh, so slow. I'm sticking to the running app, but the longest I've been able to run non stop is eight minutes....and it was the longest eight minutes of my life. So it came as a bit of a shock to find out that today, my friends, the app is telling me that I will be running for 20 whole minutes. NON STOP.

The app must be broken.

How in God's name does it expect me to be able to run for 20 whole minutes. NON STOP.

I must be on the wrong week. So I check it. And check it again. Then gave it a good shake, but no. It still wants me to run 20 minutes. NON STOP.

The person who designed this must really hate fat birds trying to run.

So I told Natalie that we have to run 20 minutes. NON STOP. She was sort of fine with it seeing as she had eaten 12 chocolate covered marshmallow gooey things on sticks at the kids prom last night. I had only eaten 4, so I don't really need as much exercise as her at this point, but if the app says we are going to have to run 20 minutes. NON STOP, then that is what we are going to have to do.

We planned it carefully. As we are not ones to shirk, we planned to walk 2 and a half miles first which brings us to the brow of a hilly bit, so we can start by running downhill, back home.

I feel sick. Natalie feels sick. But off we go. And go we did.

I can't pretend it was easy, cos it wasn't. But we kept going, and going and going. Despite not wanting to keep clock watching, I was obsessed with it, and the first 19 and a half minutes felt like forty and the last 30 seconds felt like another 40 minutes, but all I could think of was that if Julie and Jeannette can stay strong and fight this horrible disease than I can bloody well run for 20 minutes. NON STOP. And so

WE DID IT!!!!

I got home and cried and vomited. I'm not sure in what order.

We guessed that we ran for probably about 1 and a half miles. Very slow, but a HUGE achievement seeing as 6 weeks or so ago, I cried after running for 1 minute.

And I've only got to keep going for 4 times longer to complete the 10K!!!!!

Oh and Rhydd has designed our Team LOGO

I introduce to you Team.....

Day 34 - 25 June 2013 - Happy birthday, Jeannette!!!

                                   Today is Jeannette's birthday.

 I won't say how old she is or she'll have my plums on a skewer. Here she is pre-diagnosis...

The beautiful Jeannette

I thought today might be an opportune time to remind everyone, and myself for that matter, why we're all doing this.

Jeannette was originally diagnosed with breast cancer. In her first consultation with a surgeon she was told that it was not the most aggressive form of cancer and that they could shrink the lump first with chemotherapy and then perform a lumpectomy.

 Then, in the second consultation, we were told that it's more aggressive than they first thought and that they were going to perform a single mastectomy followed by six sessions of chemo.

      Oh, and by the way, we've found a shadow on one of your lungs.
  
The mastectomy was duly performed and was considered successful. 

Then we were told that the shadow in her lung was cancerous. 

It had spread through her lymph nodes and was incurable.

                                Treatable, but incurable.

So as things stand right now Jeannette is facing a lifetime of never being given the all-clear from this disease, of constant monitoring and treatment.

     But then, who knows what medical science is capable of.

 Once upon a time, smallpox, cholera and polio were all diseases which caused havoc across generations, but now they have all been more all less wiped off the face the face of the earth. So when it comes to cancer, who knows what medical science will be capable of in five or ten years time.

          And that right there is why we're doing this.

 So that in five or ten years time people like Jeannette won't have to sit in an office in tears with their hands being held by their loved ones while a doctor tells them they can't be cured. 

         That's what needs to be made a thing of the past. 

They did it with smallpox, cholera and polio, and they can do it again. 

        But without money there will be no research,  no breakthroughs. 

Since then of course, our good friend and colleague Julie, having already beaten breast cancer some years ago, has been diagnosed with something so rare you need a masters degree just to spell it!

So until the day there is a cure, people like Deb, Bethan, Ange, Sharon, Nigel, Marc, Jason, Sian and me, not to mention Karen and Dean will continue to run, jump, shave our heads and generally make fools of ourselves.

               Anything just to keep the money coming in.

   So happy birthday Jeannette, and here's to many more!

Day 29 - 20th June 2013 - my mummy

  I'd like to introduce you to Pam, my lovely Mum. Mum had cancer 11 years ago, and this is her story. We wanted to show that cancer doesn't have to be a death sentence , that you CAN beat it, but it is important to have Cancer Research so that it can be detected early and have to correct treatment  administered.....

Oh I do like a nice cuppa tea!

                                                   The word is cancer. 

            I have written it like that because we are bigger than cancer.   

Actually I am quite large for my 5ft. height but that’s because I eat so many cakes and chocolate and chocolate and chocolate! (dont take any notice, she's tiny :)

                                  Anyway back to the subject in hand. 

 I was given the news of my breast cancer in October 2002 and was in hospital for a mastectomy at the end of November 2002.  I could have had a reconstruction at the same time (yippee!) but declined as it was traumatic enough having major surgery on one side of me without having to contend with having bits cut off from elsewhere and being stuck back on the front. I was told that it was the ‘best sort of cancer to have’ (yippee again!), it made me feel so ‘special’ (not!).

I valued the support of my family who were all there for me, as were some most unexpected friends, one of whom came to see me in hospital but hadn’t been shopping and she had routed in her car and found a can of coke and a crumpled up kit-kat which she proudly presented to me.  I really appreciated the gesture!  I felt sorry for my family as I had told them that I would be okay, but they didn’t seem to be reassured and I actually felt guilty that I had put them through it.

In my hey day

To cut a long story short, I duly recovered. The cancer had not spread so I was spared chemotherapy, etc.  I spent the next few months feeling guilty that I had got away so lightly and also slightly peeved that I couldn’t take up my friend’s offer of her bobble hat to wear if I lost my hair.  I often forget to put in my prosthesis (false booby for those that don’t know) and hubby (that’s Debbie’s Daddy) has a stock of kitchen roll in the car so I can stuff away until both sides look the same.  I had to give up swimming as I was afraid my booby would extract itself and go swanning off without me and without it I would be likely (thus being side heavy) to wobble over and possibly drown! 

                              I jest because it was a coping strategy. 

 We all have our own way of dealing with the crap we are dealt with and I have the utmost respect for everyone who has to suffer this. It may all seem macabre but laughing is a good medicine.  

they can't take me anywhere!

Something that helped me enormously was two things that hubby (that’s Debbie’s Daddy) promised me when I was better.  A craft room and a trip to the NEC for a craft fair.  I’ve had both.  The one thing I would say is 

                                              NEVER GIVE UP! 

 Anyway, I want to do my bit without building up a sweat.  My passion is papercraft and I will give a box of greetings cards to Debbie and if you buy one or two, the money will go to Cancer Research.

                  ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!!

Day 25 - 16 June 2013 - See how far we've come!

I can't quite believe how far we've all come in this process. What started as a bit of joke to support our friends has gathered tremendous momentum and completely taken over our lives in more way than one. I thought I'd reflect on our progress in the last 3 and a half weeks.

Bug eater

Nigel - Mr Nigel 'Man Mountain' Howells, is embracing the training, gritting his teeth through the pain, and has now progressed to running a straight 2 miles. He has, however gained 5 stone through all the insects he has swallowed in the process. Nige is going on holiday soon and has promised to carry on with his training and eat salad for the full 2 weeks he is away.

Superhero

  Rhydd and Jeannette - Jeannette has completed her second course of chemo, and is doing well, despite feeling as sick as a dog and picking up a bit of a virus. Rhydd in the meantime is busy designing his next Superhero costume in time for the race in September. He is a bit perterbed that there are no telephone boxes along the route as he feels that emerging from a portaloo would not have the effect he was aiming for.

Bethan

Bethan - Has been a trooper- she looks the part in her matching running gear, and can now run for 20 minutes, I said 20 MINUTES!!!.  She does, however look like a representative of the dogs trust with her millions of Jack Russells in tow.

Camera shy

Ang - is starting her training sensibly and going for long walks to build up her stamina. She will soon be attempting her first run on the road, and I look forward to hearing about her progess.

Jase

Jason - after relentless nagging from us all went for his first run. Unfortunally, his knee went ping so had to rest it for a few days. His next run happened without incident, but I'm secretly relieved that its highly likely that I now wont be last across the finishing line.

Rain forest

Andrew and Julie

Julie and Andrew -Julie is starting her Chemo on Thursday and is looking forward to her wedding the following weekend although she is worried about how well she will feel on the day. Andrew went missing for a while but was returned safely by a Japanese sniper who didn't realise that the war was over, once his front lawn was finally mown.

me

Me - well what can I say, the impossible became possible and I have gone from struggling to run 10 yards to being able to walk and sometimes run for 10k. It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before, but it now feels achievable, thanks to the support of everyone involved. And maybe a bit of ridiculing but, hey, who cares.

Deano

Dean - Still a pain in the arse, he's never going to change ;)













You lovely people - have been so encouraging and supportive and I wanted to say THANKS for reading and sharing this blog. We have had a massive 3195 views on the blog since I first started it and we have raised £290 in such a short period of time.
   
      Thank you thank you thank you and please keep sharing xxx

Day 24- 15 June 2013 - Julie

It's only been a short nine months since Andrew Hamnett and I first met, introduced by mutual friends Deb and Dean.

We both brought our own individual "issues" to the relationship but far from forcing barriers, they seemed to bind us together.

Together we are strong, happy and completely compatible even though we really know very little about one another.

Having "escaped" a 20 year plus , domineering and mentally abusive relationship I really wasn't looking for a  "serious relationship"at all but after our first date I couldn't imagine ever being without Andrew and this feeling for him has remained.

I was spending more time at Andrew's than in my own home in Swansea so I decided in March,  "what the hell, move to Pyle!"
                                       I moved all my worldly goods to CF33!! 

No regrets and looking forward to a happy new lease of life with Andrew, we'd talk for hours over glasses of wine about our plans for the future. We're not getting any younger and even talked about how we'd retire together enjoying long holidays in lovely remote corners of the world.

           A bit silly and romantic? Probably but these were our dreams and what we both wanted.

Shortly afterwards my health started to suffer.  It was like a bolt out of the blue. I knew there was something wrong but never suspected how very serious it was and how frighteningly quickly things could change from me being a bit congested and tired to facially looking like a grotesque, elephant woman, bloated and swollen, going deaf with protruding eyes and breathless all the time.

The congestion feels like I'm drowning, my face constantly numbed, unable to eat properly.
I could go on all night like this but that would be whinging!!

When my initial diagnosis of a sinus cancer was identified I asked Andrew to marry me. I wanted the doctors to be able to talk to him as my husband and not just my "partner". Seems a bit of a rash act I suppose but marriage was what we planned a little way into the future so it was just bringing our plans ahead to suit our needs for now.

He said "Yes" and has never wavered on that decision but I want him to know that he can change his mind.
I could not take on a challenge like Andrew is about to.

                                                           Not after nine months.


That original diagnosis has now been updated to a Rhabdomyosarcoma, an extremely rare cancer. At this stage the treatment options are still being discussed but my condition is causing a lot of excitement within medical circles because of its rarity and it would seem that far from wanting to send me home with a "Macmillan Nurse" to die, they want to save me and write all about it in their medical journals to tell people how they did it!!!
                                                               Pretty cool, eh! 

Anyway, back to where I started. It's only been 9 short months and I've gone from being Andrew's "Sex Kitten" to being his "Elephant Woman"!!
I look at myself in the mirror and no longer see anything which resembles "Julie".

                                                               Nothing at all. 

Just grotesque, dead eyes, tumours on my neck, swellings and frankly I feel disgusted by it.

But.......

             When Andrew looks at me he never makes me feel ugly. 

When he gently takes a tissue and wipes away the snot that I am no longer able to feel running from my nose, he doesn't make me feel dirty.

When he prepares my morphine, steroids and other tablets ready in case I forget what I need to take, he keeps it all light hearted not to make me feel useless.

When we talk alone and he listens to my fears and cries with me, he makes me feel safe and loved and I know he will never let anything hurt me if he can prevent it.

When he prepares food for me, he is constantly aware of my eating problems.
Even after just finishing another twelve hour shift. If I want baby food, all mashed up and easy to swallow, he sorts it for me.
                                                       No fuss or complaining.

Just a few of the many things which Andrew does for me without complaint or question.
Yet these small things have stopped me from tipping the full contents of my medicine cabinet followed by a good few glugs of strong alcohol down my neck!!
I kid you not. This man has saved my life by simply showing me a love which I had no idea was possible. I didn't know that such unselfish people existed.
That is until I met Andrew.

Andrew has shown me care, compassion, respect, love and I will not let him down.

I WILL get better and we will get our wonderful, if still very short relationship back to where it's supposed to be.

He has stood by me where many men would have walked away.
He is my strength but I wish I knew from where he gets his strength to do what he does for me everyday we are together.

 I love you Andrew Hamnett and I cannot wait to be Mrs Julie Hamnett .

                                                                   Julie x

Day 22 - 13 June 2013 - my mate Rhydd (again)

Rhydd says :

"If there's one thing I learnt when I was running marathons, it's the importance of diet. 

  When faced with a 26 mile run, you have to make sure your body has the fuel to make it from the start line to the finish line.

                             What you don't  want is for your body to run out of fuel and start digesting itself.

                                                     That's known as THE WALL. 

                                                      You may have heard of it.

  In marathon running, the order of the day is what's known as  carbo-loading. Carbs are what provides the energy for you to start  running and keep running you past the finish line. You'd load up on carbs for a few days before, eating pasta, baked potatoes, bagels, natural honey, porridge, natural cane sugar, isotonic sports drinks,  brown rice, chicken breast, wholegrain bread, eggs and so on.

Good Carbs v Bad Carbs

  The evening before a race my dinner would consist of a large bowl of  pasta and bread, yogurt with natural honey. For supper some toast and  jam. Then for breakfast I'd have a cinnamon and raisin bagel with  natural honey on the top and porridge with a banana and unrefined cane sugar in it. Lastly, immediately before the race, I'd down a bottle of  Lucozade isotonic.  

 But not only is this diet important for race-day itself, it's also  important for the training leading up to it.

 So, for my nine-mile run  this morning, I started preparing last night by having an enormous curry with a Yorkie bar for afters. And then, when I completed my run,  I had a bloody great barbecue in the garden!

                       Well, you can't be good all the time, can you?

  So there you have it. Another informative and enlightening update from  me. but before I go, let's once again dip into the archives and celebrate my glory years as a veritable superman.

 Here's a pic of me  and Jeannette after I'd just completed the 2005 London Marathon... 

 

  Rhydd. 

-- 

Day 21 - 12 Jun 2013 -Watch out, watch out theres a camel about

            I'm struggling a bit, but I'm not going to dwell.

So I thought I'd do a bit of research into ways a big fat bird like myself could help herself with the pain barrier I am struggling to get through.

But as always when googling, I got myself a little bit distracted.

When typing such searches as 'can fat girls run', and 'running when you are carrying a shed load of lard around your middle', I kid you not, I came across some pretty disturbing images...images that should carry a 'do not look at this if you've just had your tea' warning,

but none that disturbed me as much as this one :-

"Really??" I hear you cry in disbelieve, "you googled images of  'can a lardy arsed middle age woman run more than 15 yards without crying tears of pain and frustration' and THIS is the image you chose to share with the world?"

Well yes it is, and if you hold your horses I will explain.

This may not be an image of a fat girl running, as clearly she is neither fat, nor indeed running, and I've no idea how this image appeared on my screen after googling 'help me, I've committed to a 10k run, but I feel like someone has kneecapped me', but it did, and it hit me in the face like a brick that 

 tight lycra = camel toe.

Oh my god

I wear tight lycra when I run.

I don't think I need to spell it out.

Off I shoot up the stairs to try on tight lycra and force myself to look in the mirror, something that I have managed to avoid  doing since starting this.

 My theory is that if I cant see what I look like then I cant look that bad really., and quite frankly, when I'm gasping for air I've discovered that I don't really care what I look like.

And who says women are illogical, eh?

So there I am in tight black running leggings, peering gingerly through my fingers repeating to myself,

                                                   'please no, please no!'

                    

                       and all of a sudden

                                          

                                                                 I care.

Cos there it is in all its glory

                                                    a big fat camel toe.

                  I feel sick.

I no longer feel the pain in my knees and the shin splints that feel like open wounds, no longer do I care that I possibly may damage knees so badly I'll have to have my legs amputated after I've staggered round the course. No longer do I care that I may have to be permanently strapped to an oxygen tank for the rest of my life.

                                            All I care about is, I've got a camel toe.

Back to google.

                              'anti camel toe devices'

how about this, girls 

I give you the Smooth Groove

or what about these 

Camel, not Camel inserts

but this has to be my favourite 

Cuchini - Our lips are sealed

Oh I guess what I found out?? I bet you didn't know that the male equivalent of a camel toe is a 'moose knuckle'?

 I bet you are googling it now ;)

Day 21 - 11 June 2013 - Nigel - RAISING THE TITANIC

                             by Mr Nigel Howells

Tuesday 4^th June, possibly a day that will change my life
                                      forever.

    A day that could quite possibly be the day that was the beginning of the end of life as I know it.

 That was the day that somehow, God only knows how, that two workmates (she devils) persuaded me to run in the Swansea Bay 10k run.

Now for most of you guy’s reading this blog you may think

                                       “so what?”, 
     

                                           10k........ that’s nothing!!!

                             but for a 19 stone unfit decrepit civil servant,

                                                       it’s massive.

 For me to run this 10k to the end, is the equivalent of them raising the Titanic, giving her a full refit  and resailing her from Southampton to New York,
                                                                   a massive task.

 And no doubt along the way I’ll hit more massive obstacles than the Titanic ever did on its fateful journey back in 1912.

So with the help of my trusty training partner Jack the Dog, I've begun “Raising the Titanic”, bit by bit we are going to winch that baby out the North Atlantic,
                     paint her up and get her sailing again.

The first 4 days training, when I say training, I mean walking the Dog 5 miles, have been tough, list of injuries below…

• Bad Right Knee
• Strained Right Calf
• Chaffing of the inner thighs
• Chaffing of the Bollocks
• Frozen Right Shoulder
• Blisters (even got one under my armpit??????)
• Chaffing of the Bola Ridge(where the belly overhang meets the whatever is below it)
• Hay Fever

  

But I've battled on, and Day 5 was going to be my biggest challenge yet, YES I was going to attempt to RUN, JOG, SPRINT, WOBBLE, please delete as you feel appropriate. 

So with Jack The Dog unleashed and nobody in sight I started to get 19 stone of rusty, decrepit body mass into forward motion. You could hear bones and joints creaking that have not creaked in 25 years, it was a noise to behold,.
              The Titanic was off the seabed and was on its way up.

10yds,

          25yds 

                  50 yds, 

                             this was going way better than I expected, 

                                                                                         100yds had gone by and I was still breathing, hey this ain't too bad I thought. 

posed by model

Now, when 19 stone is at full speed it must develop it’s own Gravital Pull, there were all sorts of insects orbiting around my mass, midges, flies, even Jack The Dog was getting involved and then after around 120yds and about 40 seconds it was all over, whilst  gasping for air a Daddy Longlegs crashed into my mouth and instantly began wrestling with my tonsils, choking and spluttering I stopped and after 5 mins continued walking. 

Raising the Titanic will have to wait another day, but we will raise her and we will get around that 10k course.

                                             

                                           That is a promise.